Long time no blog!

I’ve recently signed up to Dracula Daily, and I’m getting almost daily e-mails from my good friend Jonathan Harker, recently graduated solicitor on his first business trip to Transylvania. I’m so proud of him, setting out on his big work trip so far away all by himself! Adventure!

I worry for him as he seems … pretty oblivious, but he’s very sweet and not judgmental of people and their peculiar quirks. He’s staying with Count Dracula at his remote castle and they’re having a blast. Lots of late night chatting, learning about each other’s culture and history, well into the night. The food is great and he keeps promising to send me recipes.

In today’s letter my good friend Jonathan seemed a little concerned, and like he’s starting to put two and two together. He said he’s got to only rely on his wits to get out of this alive … to which I say it was nice knowing you buddy…

He’s also trying to pretend that he was suspicious all along … my dude I still have your letter from yesterday you were just thinking about that good paprika recipe. 

I’ve never read Dracula before, partly cause I thought it was a stuffy old classic, mostly because I live in (on the edge of) Transylvania, and I’m very tired that everything everyone knows of my region is Dracula. But this daily thing is fun, and I’m taking it like everything is made up and not expecting much in the way of accuracy or good sense. Apart from what I’ve absorbed from the internet and that one Leslie Nielsen movie, I don’t actually know anything of the plot or the characters.

Speaking of good sense, my good friend Jonathan has none of it. Zero. I love him so much.

• ate too much paprika for dinner, it gave me queer dreams – wakes up and eats more paprika
• everyone in the village cries and crosses themselves and warns him – Jonathan’s like “oh these people are so nice and kind, but a little odd”
• whenever something seems strange he’s way too polite to bring it up
• boy Dracula’s servants sure are quick and discreet
• huh the driver and Dracula look kinda alike
• never seen someone with pointy teeth and hairy palms before, people must just be different in this part of the world
• — side note — why has no one mentioned the hairy palms before??????
• — side note the second — Dracula actually tries to pass of his quirks as local culture, that’s why everyone asks if I’m vampire! 
• huh the journey here was kinda scary but my bestie Dracula is so much fun, we were up till sunrise talking!
• the Eastern European urge to apologise for your English
• the Eastern European urge to fangirl over England and dream of getting the creepiest gothest castle
• Dracula: I would like a very creepy house, My good friend Jonathan, not asking himself a single question: have I got the perfect thing for you! and it’s next to asylum!
• Dracula has such a big library! I’m sure I’m in Beauty and Beast!
• Dracula: yeets mirror, goes into a rage, flashes fangs, reacts to crucifx (ty village woman) My good friend Jonathan: gosh shaving is gonna be uncomfortable now
• Morning: Oh no! something is scary, Evening: wow history talk hell yeah I love it here with my good friend Dracula!

I’m also joining in on tumblr, so yeah so far as I can tell the book is a gay comedy, Jonathan is a loveable derp, and Dracula is a loveable but lonely old nerd who’s just super excited to have a friend stay over and practice his English!